The Dog Debate

The recent comment of ex-Army chief Sh. V. K. Singh has led to a serious unrest amongst the dogs. They can often be seen discussing and debating men at street corners. Impressed by my writings, they invited me to one of their recent street debates as a guest. Here are the excerpts:

Moderator: We have a new guest tonight from the men community. Though it is difficult, we will show him as much respect as possible.

Me: Hi!

Pinki, the Bitch: I have observed you have been calling too many girls “bitch” too pretty often…

(interruption by me)
Me: I think we are not discussing me here. No personal attacks please.

Moderator: Yes. No personal attacks.

Me: I tender unconditional apology on behalf of all men including Sh. V. K. Singh.

Rambo, the Dog: But why that ……is apologizing only to men, not to us? You men stone us at will; don’t recognize our right to self determination; domesticate us; give us your stupid names like Pinki and Rambo; and then abuse yourselves by calling yourselves dogs and bitches. The name you give us are more abusive, yet we never complain. And why don’t you ever say sorry to us?

Me: But I just said sorry.

Rambo, the Dog: That’s because we have chained you.

Me: No, I volunteered.

Moderator (with a wry smile): Yes, yes…he volunteered.

Pinki, the Bitch: But, now when you have “volunteered”, you will have it.

Me (slightly frightened): But, what if I offer you an alternative.

Pinki, the Bitch: What alternative?

Me: Sh. V. K. Singh! Our PM is fond of dogs. You must have seen his “goggle” pic with Army chief’s dog. I am sure he will release him for your Dog Debate.

Moderator: That sounds like a cool proposition! Okay. We will allow you to leave now subject to the condition that we want V. K. Singh next week here.

Me: Thanks for such a nice debate!

(My earnest request to the PM: Dogs have revolted now and are targeting innocent commoners like me. Please release Mr. V. K. Singh for the Dog Debate and telecast it live along with your ” Mann Ki Baat”, so that there are no more dog assaults on people like me. Rather, I would suggest you also join one of these debates.)

About the Author

Ankur Mutreja
Ankur Mutreja is an advocate-cum-writer, and his blogs are amongst his modes of expression. He has also authored six books: "Kerala Hugged"; "Light: Philosophy"; "Flare: Opinions"; "Sparks: Satire and Reviews"; "Writings @ Ankur Mutreja"; and "Nine Poems"; which can be downloaded free from the links on the top menu.

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